I’m not today – i’m indifferent; which makes me wonder if I really ever am.
My standard line when asked “How are you to day?” is I’m great! I woke up alive this morning! it’s always great to wake up alive because waking up dead can be a real bummer. But is that being happy, is just being alive being happy? Are we happy just for moments, can we be happy all the time or even most of the time?
I was ‘happy’ when my kids were born; or was that JOY? The first time I was shot at and didn’t take a hit, I was happy or was that relief? We laughed when it was over; everyone was happy we laughed at each other; I guess or was that just another face of fear. Is fear happiness? People bunji jump, zip-line, ride roller coasters for the fear of it and say it makes them happy. If I jumped out of an airplane and my shoot opened I think I would be damn happy or is that like not getting shot just relieved.
I was happy when I met my wife, when we dated, when we married; generally in a happy relationship or is that contentment?. I’m happy for my kids when they succeed or is that just a projecting of their happiness?
Most times think i’m happy at work; why is that? why would being at work make you happy? I like my job, is that being happy even though its not what I really want to do in life? maybe I’m just ‘happy’ to have work. I want to teach; but would that make me happy, I don’t do it know so how would I know?
Making other people happy makes me happy.. or does it make me feel fulfilled?
GOD makes me happy; I know he’s always has my 6 but that’s a different kind of happy then what i’m talking about; that’s more like Love. Is that it? is to love to be happy?
I love to run and running makes me happy or is happiness from running the by product of endorphin’s? so am I really happy or just think i’m happy?
Why does happiness seem so elusive?
Don’t get me wrong i’m not sad, I ‘think’ i’m happy most of the time and I like to think i’m a happy person; I’ve at least convinced myself of that anyhow. I just wonder sometimes what is happiness and sometimes is that really what I am or just something I perceive I am.
Here’s something to ponder; If you can’t be sad, can you be happy or is being sad the key to being happy?